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Local wildlife host collective funeral to save heartbreak of multiple funerals

BANFF, AB—The MacBrook Home for Ursine and Ungulate Rest has announced that they will be hosting a celebration of life for...

Radioactive mermen ATTACK!

ALERT: IF YOU ARE IN THE VICINITY OF THE BOW RIVER OR CAVE AND BASIN AREA, EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY—AREA RADIOACTIVE

Concerned Citizen: Influencers refuse to share invisible car technology

BANFF, AB—Two British influencers visiting Banff this week have brought an experimental technology to this quiet sleepy town. They outwitted me...

Performers entertain passersby with traditional Gaelic jig

BANFF, AB—Léim! Léim! Cas! Two performers were caught on camera delighting their fellow pedestrians with a traditional Gaelic dance yesterday afternoon....

Devil’s Gap and Nestlé making energy drink from psychoactive floor grease

BANFF, AB—Banff residents were in uproar after licensing agreements between Nestlé and the Devil's Gap were leaked to the public. The...

Landlord sells tenants organs in exchange for rent reduction

BANFF, AB—A local landlord has started an enterprising initiative for improving affordability in Banff's unforgiving housing market: having tenants sell their...

Banff to put flower planters between every lane

BANFF, AB—Banff town council has voted in favour of expanding the number of flower planters in the downtown area. Planters will...

Man fined $25,000 for feeding wildlife after vomiting in Banff Avenue gutter

BANFF, AB—Scotty Bigginsthorpe, 26, has been fined $25,000 after violating the Canada Wildlife Act when an elk was found eating the...

Management: Please stop bringing lynx to Wild Bill’s

BANFF, AB—Wild Bill’s Legendary Saloon has made an open plea to the public to stop bringing live lynx into their establishment...

Popular Banff town sign to be moved to Central Park

BANFF, AB—The Banff Tourist Experience board has decided unanimously to move the Banff town sign on Mt Norquay Road to Central...