Hospo-Supermax, a municipal development contractor, has pitched a number of exciting revitalization projects to Banff town council addressing traffic and congestion issues. Included in their proposals were an overhead cablecar in the downtown area to combat pedestrian congestion, and a Canmore monorail and elk-drawn carriages to relieve traffic congestion.

We’ve used elk-drawn carriages in the Rockies in the past—no reason not to now.

Charles Sacs-D’Argent

Weasel Capital, the private off-shore holdings firm owned by Charles Sacs-d’Argent, has secured leases for the airspace 40 ft. above street level throughout the entire town, exclusive rights to shipping lanes on the Bow River, and has the blessing of the Local 404 International Union of Beavers.

“We absolutely believe in this plan as a way to completely transform how locals and tourists get around Banff,” explained Sacs-d’Argent in an exclusive interview with the Bugle. “The first phase sees cablecars that run on every street 24 hours a day via a 12 station system. The next sensible move would be a monorail between Banff and Canmore”.

Sacs-d’Argent noted that the final phase of the plan involves removing all vehicles from the town limits and requiring both locals and tourists to use an elaborate system of elk-drawn carriages. “Tourists who wish to visit Lake Louise can enjoy a leisurely 12-hour, environmentally friendly carriage ride”.

“We’ve used elk-drawn carriages in the Rockies in the past—no reason not to now. We just have to make sure their implementation meets the needs of the 21st century. To that end, we have partnered with Parks Canada to use less photogenic, or non-Instagram worthy, elk they euthanize at the end of every summer and retain them as carriage elk. “

Under the plan, locals and tourists would use the planned 10-storey intercept parking lot partway between Banff and Bankhead to keep their cars out of each town’s downtown.

“This is the most realistic and achievable plan we’ve had proposed yet, and we’re extremely excited to make this a reality for our residents” said Beverly Snootsn, a Banff council member. “I’m excited to further discuss these proposals with Hospo-Supermax over dinner at Eden.”