BANFF, AB—Two British influencers visiting Banff this week have brought an experimental technology to this quiet sleepy town. They outwitted me at every turn.

I originally became aware of the couple through business cards they were handing out at bars advertising their “Definitely-in-Car Banff Safari”. I caught a whiff of a story and I began my citizen’s investigation.

Upon examining their instagram page, @travellersincars, I found multiple photos and videos of the couple mere feet from a black bear. When I and other concerned locals questioned the pair about their safety and that of the bears, we were told they were in fact in their cars when taking this footage. I scoured the photos for hours and saw no car. The answer is obvious: they have invisible car technology. Like Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, these enterprising travellers own a car that can be made invisible.

I reached out to the couple hoping to be educated about the science and mechanics of such a vehicle. Unfortunately, the only response I received was verbal abuse. I have no evidence of this as the messages were deleted by the account—or they can make their messages invisible too. I’m still unsure of what to make of the interaction but my shock was palpable to friends and family.

Unwilling to give up, I spent two mornings in my car on the 1A from 5:00AM to 8:00AM—a period where the duo say has a 100% chance of seeing bears. I hoped it was a 100% chance of seeing the couple and their invisible vehicle. Alas, I saw neither bears, nor the couple. I am unsure if it’s because they weren’t there, or because their car is invisible.

Giving up my search, I headed to Eddie Burger for a poutine and a cheeky trashcan inspection when behold! In walked the couple. I introduced myself as a Bugle citizen-reporter and asked if they’d please share information on this astonishing new technology. All I was told was that their followers were “real, the genuine article” before they bolted into an alley.

It appeared the couple wasn’t willing to help us out and we’ll all have to keep driving our visible cars. Remember Buglers, always remain in your car when viewing wildlife, give bears and other animals plenty of space. It is unfortunate that these influencers have the benefit of experimental weapons technology in their car. How many followers do I need to pay for to get that comped?