BANFF, AB—Amid complaints about the ongoing Banff Avenue repaving project, the Banff Town Planning Committee has decided to bring a little 19th century charm to Banff anf replace the asphalt with cobblestone.
The City Planning Committee revealed scant little about the project. In vague terms, the town praised the longer service life of locally-sourced Mount Astley cobblestone and low maintenance costs. However, many of the proposals seem to be forwarded by Councillor Alex Cheodo, a major quarry financier. When pressed for comment, Cheodo’s publicist informed the Bugle that our case was not “rock solid”.
Stephanie Buszkoppe, a brand ambassador for Banff Lake Louise Tourism praised the move. “Engagement will double in the coming tourist season. Banff could have the old world charm of Old Montreal and the Christmas kitsch of a cheap snow globe. An influencer’s dream!”
Ladies and gentleman, Colt Powers. He’s the real colt-45 and two zig zags. He’s max power coming down on this town like fresh powder. Colt the Ripper of gnarly peaks who lives to holler at folks on the Bow Valley streets. If he’s news to you, then prepare yourself for the truth. Kapower!